His & Hers Cheat Sheet cont’d...

“The condition of one’s life is determined by the choices we make.” But it’s indisputable that ‘Learning takes living’. That’s why I’m trying to give you a ‘Cheat Sheet’, so that you don’t have to re-invent the wheel.

     Statistics show that 50% of all marriages fail. Yes, marriages fail like anything else. But that’s not okay if we can be better prepared in our decision-making skills. It seems that problems occur when we don’t know what answers to look for, when we don’t even know the questions to ask, at ate twenty-something. This is especially common when we’ve had no father-figure to gauge from. In an ill-matched union, forever can be a long, hard time; and that’s before the babies. That’s why it is imperative to step out of the ‘Love Zone’ from time to time to examine the realities as best you can. Things change, people change; that’s a given, there’s no way around it. Ask yourself honestly, ‘Will he still be my hero if his plans for our future go array? Will I still feel the same when her figure changes? Do we both share mutual respect for each other… our ambitions, our opinions, our dreams? Do we share similar basic values? Do we both look forward to growing old together, no matter what?”

     If there is any hesitation to any of these questions, it may be wise to consider postponing the nuptials until you can each come face to face with positive responses, even if, (correction), even though the invitations are in the mail. Making informed decisions at this time of our lives is paramount, since it can affect the direction of our lies interminably. It’s all about choices.

Food for Thought

We do teach people how they can treat us:

If we teach them that we are strong… they let us be.

If we teach them that we are weak… some will take advantage.

If we teach them that we are kind… some will mistake it for weakness.

If we teach them that we are smart… they expect us to be.

If we teach them that we are fair… they learn to trust us.

If we teach them that we have worth… they will learn that we are worthy.

If you find a friend who requires you to ‘dumb-down’ to accommodate their ego… your search is not over.

If we treat them with respect… we should expect it in return.

True love and friendships are based on mutual honest and respect. Anything less is merely a façade.

Life doesn’t always offer second chances. So try to realize the value of your first shot.

The condition of one’s life is determined by the choices we make.

Treat people as You wish to be treated. You don’t need a script for that… just look inside.

“We make a living by what we get… we make a life by what we give”  -Sir Winston Churchill.

His & Hers Cheat Sheet

Ladies: Never get involved with someone who has less to lose than you do. It could dismantle your life on many levels, in the long run.

Gentlemen:  It would be difficult for me to try to tell a man what he should look for in a wife, because I am not a man. The best that I can suggest is that you should determine the quality of your relationship with your own mother; then, look for someone who best fits that description, provided it was positive. Otherwise, look for someone who can hold your rope… without instructions from you.

     

 I must share with you some advice that I heard about from an old friend’s grandmother years ago: “If he ain’t worth watching… he ain’t worth waiting for’. Somehow, because it came from someone’s grandmother, at first, it sounded like ‘good-ole-words-of-wisdom’. But quite frankly, that never did set right for me personally. My honest position is: If I’ve got to watch him… I don’t want him! That’s too much work for me. What I truly believe in is this: ‘True love and friendships are based on mutual honest and respect. Anything less is merely a façade’.

     

 While it is important to look for fulfillment on a personal level, follow your instincts. Don’t rationalize nor compromise; despite the loud ticking of your body-clock. Pairing your life with someone who is on a different plane than you, could, indeed, dismantle your life, in the long run; and some things cannot be un-done. We each learn what we live; and we can’t teach vision.

     

 Try not to settle for less than you heart’s desire.  Smart women soar when they have no one else’s needs to consider but their own. They are able to focus on their own goals, at their own pace, without distractions from a mate’s agenda; which may be different than their own. You can and should arrange time for those passions when you do meet your soul-mate. He’ll understand… because a smart man has passions of his own. Having a passionate interest in something other than ‘Mr. or Mrs. Right’… such as a career, hobby or sport, (for instance), shows personal drive and independence. For strong people, that’s right up there near the top of their priority list. Strong men are attracted to strong women, and vice versa.

     

 I have found that the key to making smart choices is oftentimes a matter of following your instincts. There will be whistles and bells going off in your head; or maybe the hair on your arms bristle, but there is a sign, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. Going through life in a zombie-like state, thoughtlessly performing everyday tasks; programmed to act or react according to yesterday’s results, set you up to be a ‘mark’ for anyone who is consciously on his or her game.

To be continued.....